What's on my mind.

Yin & Yang or merely coincidence?

If anyone of you realize, every time we make a decision; ok more simple, every time we take something, or choose, or gain we will have to sacrifice something or lose something. Does that situation proves that life's fair or is it just merely coincidence? Ok a clear example; 'A' was browsing thru clothes, loves a pair of jeans and 2 tee's. He was indecisive on which he should get; the pair of jeans or the 2 tee's. He has to lose one of it. He has to make a decision on what he would get. Basically he cant get both. So do you think that he should just don't get both and go home and start thinking about it or should he get at least one of it? Both has its important. If he does get both, he would be having problems to survive for the month.

Why is this always an issue?

Ok, now I'm gonna relate this example to a real life situation. 2 men; go figure. If I were to pick both to be in my life, they'll be alot of sacrifices to be done. And the game must be well played. But I ain't good at this game. Both has its importance to me. Obviously one has known me for a long time and the other one is still getting to know me. Certain criteria that I want in someone is in; ok wait let's name them first. Guy who has known me is 'A' and guy who is still getting to know me is 'B'. As I was saying, yes certain criteria are in 'A' and certain are in 'B'. A big difference would be that if I choose 'A' I'm just heading back to history and if I choose 'B' I'll be opening a new leap in life? But then again, for a commitment? I don't know whether I'm ready for it or maybe if it happens I wont commit as how they would want me to and I'm afraid that they wont get to accept that.

I'm taking my time.

Career, family, friends must be top then only lover. Never fall in love, but walk in love. I'm walking, and I'm walking real slow but by the looks of it 'B' isn't. Either he is walking real fast or he is jogging, which I'm afraid. My options are still open, but he looks like he is ready to walk down the aisle with me. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm not the only one who sees it that way. 'B' is a lovely person, believe me. And if anything were to happen, it will all come back to me. And honestly sometimes that just kills me. Yes, I've hurt so many people along the way but it is not because I wanted to, but it just didn't work out. People gotta face the fact that shit happens. And maybe the shit is not from me?

Always realizing the bad, but never the good.

I wanna prove everyone wrong, but its natural for human that when someone does something good its never talked about or even bloody realized. But when it decides to do something real bad, the next second it would be the talk of the town. And then when we don't bother and just ignore the fact that they are talking about it then we will be called a BITCH. Humans are so complicated and so hard to pleased. I just wish someday they'll understand why it happen?; why is that my decision?; or what actually when wrong?

Innocence.

Sally said, its the way you portray yourself and the fact that most people I date has 1 same major criteria which is innocence. So either way, whatever happen people would look it as though I'm the one to blame for everything. So yea back to the topic about 'A' and 'B'. This time, I really got to think everything thoroughly. What am I searching for? If I could answer that question, gradually everything would fall into the right places and I could make my decision then. So for now, would it be safe to play the game and keep my options open since nothing has been declared yet or should I sit down and choose between both?