In the next life, we'll fall in love again.

Months since you've been gone,
months since you've turn back,
months since you've looked me in the eyes,
and now memories are so way back.

Soon Im gonna fade,
fade into the dark blue sky,
fade like the colour balck fades to grey and then white,
fade where memories only lyes.

You've havent said a word,
nor even a letter,
then I guess its easy,
easy for you to erase me,
easy for you to accept reality when Im trying so hard to,
the reality that had no beginning to an ending.

How could all of this happen,
when all I did was try to begin,
something you were trying so hard to end.

Was it never enough?
Was it never fair?
Was there NO trust?
Wasn't there second chance in our love dictionary?
One question,
how could you let it go when you never even tried to hold it?

You gave me alot of strength,
strength for me to survive in this cruel vicious world,
strength for me to live,
strength to pursue my dreams,
strength to stand on my own 2 god-damn-fucking feet
and lastly the strength for me to love.

But why were you cruel?
Why do you have to pull everything back,
when you know that you were my strength,
and it was only you in my life.

Letting you go was never easy,
and seeing you so happy now makes me feel easy,
but I want to thank you,
thank you for appreciating me,
thank you for being my strength,
thank you for showing me how love hurts, and lastly,
thank you for hurting me because then only it showed me more the meaning of love.

Now fly like a bird,
like you have always dreamt,
and probably in the next life,
we'll meet again, and,
we'll be total strangers,
trying to fall in love again.

Im bringing sexy BACK!

Hah! Sexy is back! Damn, never had the time to update this blog of mine. Was too busy trying to build back my life, didnt realize my loyal fans out there are waiting for my updates. LOL. Lets start shall we?

London.

Simply amazing, altho the flight was taking ages, and I was not really in the right state of mind to go thru 12 hours of hell. But I was thinking positive, I was going there for a short break and a job interview as well. So I was keeping it positive. Arrived there looking like shit, and my uncle's grandson pick me up. He is so freaking gorgeous now man! But well, sadly he is not into men! DAMN! Arrived at my studio flat, and it was so messy, the old tenant like quite fuck it up, but well I cleared up some shit and then I fell flat on the couch.

Woke up pretty early, needed to go to the city to do some shopping and walk around. It was chilly over there, and smart Izmil didnt bring sweater . Just a top-coat! Job interview was the next day. At St. Agile's hotel, and sister hotel to Cititel in KL. Basically to cut it short, I got the job, but I start on the 2nd January 2007. Wanted to stay on there, but well, had to come back, to settle shit here in KL, like my current job and all. I needed to wait for my letter of employment from the hotel then only I could apply for a working visa! (tapi skarang lak, I have to prove that I have RM10k in my savings to move over there!)

When Nottingham, to visit a friend studying there. Thanks for making me feel at home yea Shaz? Good luck on your studies! :)



Reality hits when Im back in KL!

Terus stress! Everything is like so havock in KL! I feel like macam banyak sangat benda nak buat! Tak habis habis lagi sampai skarang! And now, I've got a decision to make, whether to stay on here and finish my studies, (while working with MAS yah!) Or just fuck everything and ciau! Confusion confusion! I like to put myself in this situation! Where I have to make a decison at the end. (why must I always do the decison even if it was not base on my life?) Tak paham lansung! So now, still struggling, still trying to build my strength to face all these bitter reality of life! (bak kater orang, telan je laa beb!) Its easier said than done tho!

So far so good tho!

Everything is well doing fine with me now, I mean I'm more stabil. Im not emotionally unstable anymore after my recent crisis. As what a friend told me, Im a very strong person, if it was her, she would have gave up on everything. Well, one door closes 10 open's rite? (insyaallah!) And I got a new phone! YAY! Damn cool! (you know how im into all this gadgets and all..) My job? Well its alrites, but I just got back from a flight today and I was so stress, because my stewardess was so slow and dumb! Had to irritate me early in the morning! Dah laa semua tak cukup tdo, since it was just a lay-over flight to BKI. ANd later at 0100HRS is my pick up again, to BKI! Bitch! (penat laa kerja nih, tak tentu maser and tak tentu makan..) How laa I dont look old! But its all good. I wrote a poem cuz I was bored on board just now. Like suddenly had the inspiration to write. Will post it up soon.